Nomenclature

I've been working in this company long enough to have had a two-week old baby by now had I been pregnant when i joined. And yet, this very funny incident happened today:

A lady I have been randomly bumping into on my way to the namaaz room since I joined ... I bumped into her on ym way out fomr the namaaz room today. She was coming in. I was leaving after having said my Zuhr.

We had one of our usual chats ... how are you .. how's work ... will your magazine be on time ... isn't it awful how few people we have to help us get our work done ... blah de blah de blah.

Turns out she knows a guy who knows a guy who is looking for a job in sales at a magazine. I ask her to drop his CV by my office ... we'll have a look. Okay, she says. Will do. As I turn to leave, she goes ... "Umm, what's your name?"

I tell her, and then she tells me hers.

Nine months and two weeks.

That's the longest I've had an acquaintance whose name I didn't know.

Wacko Jacko

During the course of my workday, I receive all kinds of press releases - from development updates on the latest highrise to sales where and till when. Today, however, I hit the Mother Load:

ATTENTION: NEWS EDITOR

Following and attached as a Word document is a news release on Michael Jackson’s first visit to Dubai which is issued on behalf of Mohammed Ben Sulayem who has been escorting the pop superstar around his home city.
Also attached are three photographs for use with this story.

Michael Jackson has been on a private visit to Dubai and we are unable to provide you with any other details.

(Note that they are, however, able to provide you with pictures AND a WHOLE damn press release)

Best regards
PR PERSON

DUBAI’S A REAL THRILLER FOR MICHAEL JACKSON

Pop superstar impressed by landmark developments
on city tour with rally ace Sulayem

Dubai, UAE, 28th August 2005: Dubai has made a big impression on
Michael Jackson who was thrilled by the development he saw, and the hospitality he experienced, during his first visit to the Emirate.

The pop superstar has just spent a week exploring the sights of Dubai in the company of H.H.Sheikh Abdullah bin Hamed Al Khalifa, son of the King of Bahrain.

Top Arab motor sport personality Mohammed Ben Sulayem, who escorted Jackson and Sheikh Abdullah around his home city, said: “Michael had a wonderful time and he was surprised and impressed by what he found in Dubai.”

“He had heard that some amazing developments are taking place here, but he was still astonished to see the scale of the expansion and particular projects like The World and The Palm Jumeirah.”

The pop world’s most famous entertainer, who has been staying in Bahrain as a guest of Sheikh Abdullah, chatted happily with delighted staff at the offices of major developer Nakheel before taking a boat trip to see how The World and The Palm have emerged as internationally recognised landmarks.

“He was incredibly polite and pleasant with everyone he met,” said Sulayem, the 14-times Middle East rally champion and organiser of the UAE Desert Challenge, the world championship motor sport event.

“Michael is very special for many reasons. We all know about his music and his incredible career, but not many people realise what a genuinely nice person he is.”

“He has achieved so much and is such a unique entertainer, but one of his greatest gifts is that he is an extremely warm and friendly individual who quickly puts you at ease when you meet him.”

Jackson, whose best-selling album of all time, “Thriller”, has sold over 51 million copies, hopes to return to Dubai in the near future.

Said Sulayem: “He would love to be able to spend more time here and will always be welcome. He enjoyed and appreciated the hospitality he was shown, and that is one of the reasons why he feels so comfortable in this part of the world.”

Here's my take on things:



The grapevine is abuzz that Jacko is looking at buying property in Dubai. Are we gonna have a Smooth Criminal hanging in the Dairy aisle at Spinney's now?

I Had a Hearty Meal Today ...

Mundane with a twist

Living in Dubai, one gets used to many things: construction workers everywhere being one of them. But once in a while, the mundane sight you see everyday show itself to you with a twist and makes you smile:



An Indian construction worker in a Dick Tracy hat. And then he lit up and went about his work with the cancerstick dangling between his lips nonchaltanly. All he needed was an overcoat ...

Uniform

At lunch today ... seven men ... identical outfits on six ... light blue shirts and navy blue pants.

Six out of seven. What are the odds?



When was the last time you saw a group of women and two wore something even remotely similar? :)

"Bluetooth Paggadh"

The good thing about a long drive to work is there are more sights to amuse you along the way. Take this for instance:



It gave us an idea for a techie gadget that will surely take the Sikh community by storm: the Bluetooth Paggardh.

You can't leave home without it.

The Big Game

Dedicated to Smoky who seems to enjoy my diversions from work almost as much as I do ....



Hey! Anything to make me feel I get paid for having fun all day ....

Anniversary Party

I love surprises. Specially those involving a celebration/party. Mummy(in law) and Bhai put their heads together to give us a cosy one for our anniversary this Friday. :) Yay. I love Mummy and Bhai :)

Here's wishing Bhayya and Kirna could have been there too ...

New Year Resolutions

No, I haven't gone crazily, insanely foresighted and decided to plan my NYRs four months in advance. Okay, fine, I HAVE ... but the more I think of it, the less it seems to be a bad idea ...

I'm going to think out loud now, so if lists bore you, you would start getting bored just about now ...

15. Keep the house a *little* bit cleaner. Just a *little* bit ...
14. Try not to buy clothes with the grocery money and then pretend I spent it all on gourmet ingredients.
13. Not actaully buy any gourmet ingredients becasue a) there goes my excuse to spend grocery money on strappy tops and b) I can't cook that well.
12. Expand my culinary protfolio by over at least a dozen items.
11. Muster up the courage to cook red meat for the first time (yes, we have had only chicken at home the whole past year. And Qeema, which doesn't really count).
10. Buy some plants (and not becasue last night we went to a Chinese restaurant that had Feng Shui tips on the menu and supposedly putting a round-leafed plant on the top left corner of your living room as you enter is supposed ot bring financial propserity ... but becasue plants are good).
9. Plants are good only when they are alive, so try and keep at least one plant alive for more than a week.
10. Take more bubble baths. If not, then stop spending ALL THAT MONEY on bath products.
8. Use the swimming pool and gym at least once a week.
7. Join some kind of martial arts/physical activity class with Arfiman so BOTH of us get off our bums and don't spend every single weeknight lounging on the couch watching DVDs.
6. Start using the kitchen dustbin instead of flinging trash into a grocery bag hanging from the kitchen doorhandle.
5. Remember to order water BEFORE we have to start rationing the last litre.
4. Try and not scream at the water delivery company for having to call three times before they deliver.
3. Stop buying new books unitl I've read all the ones I have that I haven't read
2. Stop buying new clothes till I've worn all the ones I have that I haven't worn yet.

And last but not the least ...

1. FINALLY GO ON A HONEYMOON!

Yesyesyes, honeymoon is very top priority for BPC now. :)

First Year of Marriage: Lessons Learned and Random Statistics

Thus today begins our second year of marriage. We discovered a lot about each other and more importantly about God's grace in the past year, so i's time to take a trip down memory lane and share some things we learned (or at least I learned) and some interesting statistics in our first year of marriage (in no particular order):

Sleeping
-It iinfactct better to go to bed by 11ish (Arfiman's way) than to stay up till 3ish (BPC's way)
- It is good to have a glass of water by one's bedside when sleeping, for those middle-of-the-night thirsties. If glass of water is not available, loving spouse works equally well.
- Husbands cannot change bedsheets
- Husband's side of the bed get sweaty-smelly more quickly than the wife's.

Entertainment
-The couple that watches X-Files together, stays together (thanks Bhayya). This can also be said about the following shows: Friends, Veronica Mars, Desparate Housewives, Lost and Gilmore Girls.
- Having one activity exclusive of the other's involvement is possible AND recommended (Playstation for husbands and chick-lifor wives)

Work
-God provides a couple better than single. Somehow, 1 plus 1 becomes 3.
-Number of jobs held by Arfiman in the past year: 2
-Number of jobs held by BPC in the past year: 6

Fights
Number of major fights/disagreements: 3
Number of major fights/disagreements that lasted more than two hours: 0
Score: BPC:3, Arfiman:zero (points go to instigator of fight/disagreement)

Cooking
- Mint for mint tea is better kept frozen in ziploc bags
- Fridgshoulddl always have chocolatete cake, eggs and shami kababs.
- Baking soda is the cure for the common smelly refrigerator
-Number of meals cooked in our kitchen: appx. 280
-Number of meals cooked in our kitchen involving some sort of pasta: 6
- Number of meals cooked in our kitchen involving expensive steak: 1 (NEVER AGAIN)
-There's always Home Delivery

Weddings/Engagements
-It's much more fun going to/experiencing friends weddings/engagements as a married couple. You feel so wise.
-Number of weddings/engagements we've been to/experienced since we got married: 3

Dates
- Number of picnics in the park: 2
-Most expensrestaurantaunt we've been to since we got married: Sphinx, Wafi City
-Worst: Baku on beach Road
- Number of trips / getaways in the past year: together:2, me alone: 1
- Number of weekend getaways at hotels within an hour's drive of home: 1
- Number of weekend getawayhotelstoels within an hour's drive of home planned for the next decade: 0

:) Wow. I could go on and on. I love lists.

*happy*

Hmm, if I thought the fishy below was adorable, I had a whole avalanche of 'adoraqble' coming my way.

It started with me getting up to wash my face on our Shaadi Day. I go to the bathroom all sticky eyed and ...



Hee hee.

Then came the Fishy when I went to my car ot drive to work. Arfiman and I planned lunch together (of course) and when he came to pick me up ....



:)

We both tried to sneak out of work early but I got delayed with two end-of-the-day meetings. I come home and ...



Orchids AND a gerbil. So cute and fat. )

And then we went for dinner. Coming back from dinner, I go to the bathroom and ...



PUPPY! So many chhota littuls I got. And puppy holding a book Arfiman knew I wanted (I'be blogged about it below) Yay :)

THE BEST anniversary prezzies I could have hoped for. Thankoo Arfiman for making my day so special.

Happy Anniversary

You go to your car like you would on any other day, you open your doorand slide into your seat. As you go for the ignition, you see this:

And that's what makes being married to your best friend the best thing that ever happened to you.

Happy Anniversary Arfiman! :)

Mrs. Arafaat Ali Khan

Right about this time last year, I was crackign my knuckles nervously. Butterflies in stomach. I was all prettied up with henna on my hands.

I was on my way to the court for my nikaah.

I had always expressed supreme loathing at significant events in one's life coinciding with days such as Christmas, or new Years etc etc. Isn't it poetic justice, then, that the first day of my new life would fall on ... YAUM-E-AZADI!!!!!

Here's one from this time last year ... when I became Mrs. Arafaat Ali Khan.



Obviously, I insist on celebrating my wedding anniversary on our reception date: 16th August.

Jashney Azadi Mubarak

Music in motion

Sometime ago, I was on assigment for OK! Magazine. I shot a Flamenco dancer as he performed in Dubai Media City. He was music in motion. I never thought a man dancing could mesmerize me so, but it did, and boy, did it ever!

When I came home and looked at my pictures, I smiled at the serendipity of it.



Three years ago, I had sat in the grass in London on a quiet summer afternoon. The workshop instructor having given us a half hour off for lunch, a few of us lingered on the green, soaking up some sun. I sat next to a Spaniard: the charming Gabino Carballo.

I related to him my fantasies about Spain: a counrty that has always held the most romantic of connotations for me. Gaby said to me that if I had not seen the great Joaquin dance, I had seen nothing of Spain.

"Where can I see Joaquin?" I asked. Gaby smiled. "You don't go to Joaquin. Joaquin comes to you."

That was all he said, and that was all I heard and we moved on to talking of other things.

And here I was today ... I had seen Joaquin Cortes.

Gaby was right.

Guilty or not?

The more I read, the more I sway. I am soooooo gullible. Methinks Dan Brown might have plagiarized after all. There is a link in the guy's other blog where Brown's advice on writing in a published piece match EXACTLY those of a nother writer giving advice in a published piece. I'ts not five words or five lines. It's a WHOLE article.

http://writopia.blogspot.com/2005/05/portland-vs-exeter-who-is-plagiarizing_20.html

!!!!

The DaVinci Code

No matter what anyone says, I enjoyed the book. The manipulation of historical facts for the purpose of propogating the storyline was marvelous. Of course, my first instinct was to blindly believe in what Brown wrote but there obviously ARE NOT 666 panes of glass in the Pyramid at the Louvre and neither does Mona Lisa seem to come from Amon and L'isa: I mean, why an italian prefix for an Egyptian name?

Anywho ... brilliant work indeed and so it was slightly disturbing to find that there's a legal war going on out there waged by one Lewis Perdue of Sonoma, California, United States who published a book in 1983 called The Da Vinci Legacy and another in 200 called Daughter of God: both of which he claims brown plagiarised DVC from.

Hmm.

Read more yourself at http://davincicrock.blogspot.com/

In the meanwhile, I have my eyes set on a certain book spotted at Spinney's Umm Suqeim: The VaDinci Cod. :)

Wow.

Looking for a softback version at the abovementionied one was hardback and 35 Dhs and to really the kind of money I like to spend on books - ESPECIALLY not spoof ones.

BUBBLESES!!!!

Who says kitchens are slavehouses where wretched souls toil in unbearable heat? Mine is my cosy retreat for when Arfiman is busy with his PS2. Once the chawal and saalan are on the choolha geting pakofied, it's me and my BUBBLES!

Cousins

There's something about little cousins that birngs out the child in you. Godbless the little ones.

Tools of the Trade

Behold the used and abused tools of the trade that is After-Dinner Shisha.



The one on the ledft .. err .. right .. err .. outside, yes, OUTSIDE is the poor old battered coal pan. It was truly an art firing up the coal on it. Breaking the bits so they'd be a specific size, then lining the bottom with thel argest coals and spacing out the smaller pieces on top. Fishing out the coals was a trick in itself: the bottom ones always got doen first.

And behold the NEW COAL PAN on the inside. Wow. Look at those perfect holes.

Sadly, when we repalce what is old (and perhaps experienced and conditioned to our ways and to whose way WE are conditioned) and replace it with what is new (and shiny), we realize that 'new' comes with new challenges and that 'new' is unfamiliar and that 'new' .. ultimately .. does your head in becasue 'new' takes getting used to.

And by the time you get used to 'new', 'new' is no longer new. It is old. And you end up with a new 'new' and the cycle starts all over again.

*sigh*

I meant to write something about the joys of After-Dinner Shisha, but what is BPC if not digressional?

Ciao Ciao

Nostalgia ...

You go back after ages, and pick up right where you left off. You never run out of things to talk about. Old jokes never go stale. You can't keep a straight face. You want to hug and be hugged. You stay up all night talking about nothing. You order a pizza between five and you never mind who got how many slices or who paid. Something reminds you of something that happened five years ago and it's still as funny as it was back then.

Whoever invented friends was a genius!

Grouse you out ...

That's exactly what this image is meant to do ...



If you've managed to keep your lunch in, risk the whole lot. Click on the image and follow it to my Flickr set of MORE GORY PIX!

Money Talks, It Even Sings ...

I changed a bunch of Dirhams into rupees for my recently undertaken LASIK eye surgery. Roughly 3000 Dhs, to be precise. (Please indulge me for my oxymoron.)

I got back a WHOLE BUNCH of money.

One of the joys of earning UAE Dirhams and spending Paki Rupees.

Quite frankly, the 3000 Dhs didn't seem like much. It IS quite a sum, but Alhamdolillah not SO big that I have to save for years to be able to have that amount to spend in one go. But once it was changed ot Paki rupees, it turned my knees ot jelly.

There I was with my wad of Paki money: a couple of 1000 rupee ntoes, some odd change AND A FUCKING BIG BUNCH OF 500 RUPEE NOTES!!!

Okay, it was rupees 50,000 to be exact. But when you put it in 500 rupee notes, MAN, IT WAS FUCKING THICK WAD OF BILLS!!!!

I looked at it and was overcome with a medley of emotions: pride that I earned it, thankfulness that i didn't have to think twice before spending it in one go, happiness that it could buy me something i wanted for a loooong time, some sadness/guilt at the thought of how many mouths this money could feed for how many months and here i was using it for a cosmetic procedure.

And lastly, moment of quiet humbleness and odd nostalgia: I imagined somebody walking upto a 16 year-old BakPakChik, telling her that 8 years from that day, she would hold 50,000 rupees in her hand - hers to spend as she pleased, for she had earned it herself. 16 year-old BakPakChik wouldh ave laughed and laughed and laughed. In disbelief.

I've surely spent more money many many times (I own a RED SPORTSCAR, REMEMBER!!)but somehow, holding that bundle of bills was just so different from anything else I had ever experienced.

Isn't it amazing how far we come? I wrote this before in my blog once ... but what are we, if not the manifestations of our own hopes and aspirations? Fears and anxieties? Wishes and dreams?

Here ... I'm spreading the joy ....

Missed

You don't know how much you missed it till you actually have it again:

Friday lunches with my miniscule/marvellous/magical susral: Mummy's endearing litle habits, Arfi in "I'm at my Mum's so I can act like I'm 8" mode, looking for new fridge magnets on Mummy's fridge, Bhai throwing cushions at Arfi ...

Tossing myself in the backseat of Bhai's car ... rear speakers massaging my back with the bass of 'Dhoom Machaley' while I watch Dubai whizz past.

Lazy afternoons smoking shisha and ravaging the Game Machine at Klassikyat with Arfi and Bhai ... almost beating Bosoooooood at Q-Shot (and missing by just 200 points), finding out trivia Wierd & Wild in Trivia Whizz (Idi Amin is the ruler of which country?), group-cheering at high-scores and bonus replays, naar min fadhlak and fishing for JUST ONE MORE COIN ...

And last but not the least ... the feeling of my own steering wheel in my hands, the smell of my own Lumina's leather seats and the glint of it's shiny, red body. The way my head whips back when I foot the accelerator and Shireen crooning Ah Ya Leil.

And now ... my five-or-so square feet of space .. my Home Away From Home: my desk at the office. Back to my piles and piles of mail (press releases mostly, with the odd freebie wedged in) and little bags of goodies sent by PR people trying to bribe me into writing for them. What did they send me while I was away? A men's perfume, a women's perfume, a Nivea lipgloss and a Clinique sheer tint mousturizer.

Piles of CDs to plough through. Two 100+ page magazines to finish in as little as two weeks.

After the (change is as good as) vacation, I thought it would be impossible to get back inot the groove, but thankfully, I have a job I love. :)

I'm gonna go play with my new toys now ...

Hypocrisy or True Friendship?

All my single years, I'd found myself irritated most by one habit common to mostly all married women: their incessant energy put towards hitching up all single women.

And for all my rants on onconventionality, I have gone and done the EXACT SAME THING.

Albeit with a twist.

Tabz's mum told me she wants to get Tabz married off. Tabz being one of my best buddies from uni, is a person who I would just love to have with me in Dubai.

Hmm.

I have appraoched one person who I know is looking for a girl for her brother. A brother who will soon move to Dubai.

Hehehe.

How typically shaadi shuda of me :)

What is UP with being Shaadi Shuda?

What is UP with stereotypes of married folk and what they must look/act like?!

If you gave me a penny for everytime poeople told me during this trip that I don't look like I'm married at all ... well!!!

So I am married. Does that mean I grow two horns or what?

Hell, I even got asked about my mother in law by a person (who shall remain unnamed for he sake of their own wellbeing) and when I reported happily that Mummy is simply amazing and what a good relationship I have with her ... well, the said person was mighty surprised. Not even a single fight? None?!! I could confide in them, they assured me. I don't have to put up a front, I was told.

So what? Should I say Mummy is a tyrant and that she's always nitpicking at me and that we NEVER agree on anything? Yeah, that woudlbe so much more normal by stereotypical standards, eh?

Well, no apologies , but I apparently have an amazingly abnormal relationship with my mum in law. We chat on the phone, we buy each other little trinkets for no real reason except that we saw something that made us think of the other and one the whole she makesme wonder what is UP with the whole Kyunkey Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi deal? The politics and the 'not being able to stand each other'ness? Matlab keh kya?!!

And what is UP with women turning into christmas trees the day they get married? What is UP with all that gold?

Just come to peace with the fact, people, that bakpakchik never liked wearing jewelry and never will, and now amount of shaadi shudaaness can change that. That, or the length and color of my hair (which constantly changes, mind you).

What is UP with this.

Man, am I glad I didn't marry a typical Pakistani boy who would want me to wear shalwar kameez infornt of his parents and cook biryani for a family dawat every friday.

It's almost a year now and one of these days I am going to dedicate a post to some thoughts that I do not want to underplay by putting as afterthoughts down here.

Some things of course, will never find their way here and I feel incredibly desi saying this, but you have to be married to understand what exactly the bond is. No amount of prose or poetry can capture the essence of it.

Apologies to any singles out there who are reading this, but marriage is the GREAT.

Marriage the way is mine, Alhamdolillah, is the best thing ever.

I love you Arfiman ... for everything. And always :)

Inward Introspection (On What Was Once Home)

When done one place stop being home and another starts being just that?

When exactly is it that you take yourself away from one life (one place, one set of people, one set of reponsibilites)and start another and then it's as if your current life is the only one you ever had?

The past few days in Karachi have been very inwardly introspectional for bakpakchik.

I have come to the realization that in my four or so years in DubaiI have learned so much -and unlearned an equal amount.

Once upon a time, I used to be the girl who introduced so many of her peersto Karachi's public transport system. I knew the bus routes like the back of my hand. I knew the roads, the roundabouts, the landmarks ... you ask me, I could take you there.

During this trip, I was lost.

I honestly, sincerely, could not recall how to get form my house to my former alma mater. A trip I made twice a day, everyday for two years. I forgot it all.

No longer could I - in my head - draw a mental map when people told me to go down Tariq Road towards Sindhi Muslim and then take the first roundabout left or something along those lines.

I felt lost.

I alos felt sweaty.

Perspiration was something I thought I had grown out of. Heh.

For the first time in a long time, my clothes smelt of sweat. For the first time in my life, I found myself recoiling at my own BO.

For the first time in a long time, when I washed my hands, I saw trickles of muddy brownnes make its way into the realms of Greater Sewage.

Uff.

I can't stand the thought of coming back and living in Karachi now.

And once, this place was all I knew. A place I longed to come back to during a two month holiday in Dubai - the greater part of which was spent with me sitting in the windowsill glumly looking over the Clocktower.

These days, it's a place to buy cheap DVDsand get your eyes operated on without busting the bank.

"Human beings are creatures of habit," writes Arundhati Roy in God of Small Things.

Hmm.

Even my hair doesnt behave like it would in Dubai.

*sigh*

Dubai my high, Dubai my low
To Dubai I must go.