Work Hazard #006: Lost in translation

BPC is typing away at her keyboard when her ears pop up at the mention of her name ...

Colleague#1 to #2: Dude, can you give Ujala the breast cancer ...
Colleague#2 to #1: Okay.

?!?!?!

BPC: I DO NOT WANT BREAST CANCER!!!!

Long story short: somebody wants me to do the communicaitons plan for a breast cancer awareness program.

Now that makes much more sense.

MSNing

Babar = Back in Khi....phew says:did you know in college, I was a bartender for 3 years?
oooj@la says: yeah?
Babar = Back in Khi....phew says:and aaj tak, Ive always wondered wht alcohol tastes like
oooj@la says:wow ...
Babar = Back in Khi....phew says:beer smells like pee
oooj@la says:looks like pee too
Babar = Back in Khi....phew says: hmm
oooj@la says:maybe it is pee .. aerated pee
Babar = Back in Khi....phew says: aerated fermented pee

If I were ....

Found this Tag on Khizzy's blog. (LOl, I just typed that 'bog' instead of 'blog'!) and since she tagged EVERYONE, i finally got a tag after SOOOOOO long ...

Here goes:

If I were a time of day, I would be ... a Saturday after-morning … made for lazy cuddles and cuddly lazing.

If I were a non-human animal, I would be ... a kitten. And then I would grow up to be cat like Moonie. Meow!

If I were a direction, I would be ... left (left-liberal actually, very!).

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be ... a sofa bed with a pull-out footrest and arms that can be used as a table. One that comes with a detachable reading lamp too.

If I were a liquid, I would be ... petrol. Smells funky and *c’mon baby* lights your fiiiiire.

If I were a tool, I would be ... a Swiss Army Knife. A hot pink one.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be ... a warm, sunny afternoon.

If I were a mythical creature, I would be ... (I did a quiz for this one) Apparently “Like a unicorn” I am “unique and mostly alone - you remain pure than most. kind, helpful and always on hand to be a friend. you have a captivating beauty which makes you unforgettable and a quality that makes you utterly special

If I were a musical instrument, I would be ... a tuba toothpaste. LOL

If I were a color, I would be ... HOT PINK. What else?!!!!! Or maybe red.

If I were a sound, I would be ... the sound that goes off in your head when you have a great idea :)

If I were a movie, I would be ... okay ... I did a quiz again and it said I’m Moulin Rouge. Screw that! I hate that movie. My answer? Salaam namaste J or Chalte Chalte or Dil Chahta Hai. Yeah, definitely a Hindi movie with its latka jhatkas and melodrama and hopefully SRK *swoon*
If I were a food, I would be ... an authentic chicken shawerma.

If I were a material, I would be ... shiny red patent leather.

If I were a word, I would be ... wanderlust.

If I were a facial expression, I would be ... that lip-chewing moment of comptemplation

If I were a month, I would be... December in Dubai

If I were a day of the week, I would be... Saturday, for sure.

If I were a planet, I would be... Planet Earth. I’m crazy, but at least I can sustain life J

If I were a tree, I would be... I took a quiz AGAIN and I must conclude quizzes hate me. This one said “You Are A Weeping Willow: You are a huge crybaby and nobody likes you. Everyone wishes you would go away and leave them alone.”

ROFLMAO. That sounds like something one of my Anonymous Posters on my Blog would say.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be ... a Standard pruned like a heart. Heh.

If I were a fruit, I would be ... a banana.

If I were an article of clothing, I would be ... a soft pashmina.

If I were a Disney character, I would be ... Captain Jack Sparrow

If I were an online abbreviation, I would be ... ROFLMAO.

If I were a hairstyle, I would be ... a gamine crop

If I were a number, I would be ... a Gogool. (a 1 with 100 zeros after it) I don’t think they’ve named a bigger number.

If I were a kitchen device, I would be ... a slotted wooden spoon. Multipurpose, thrifty, and totally utterly dependable.

I tag Kirna, Hinamommy and Sheza.

DODO!

The other day BPC went grocery shopping alone. She returend to the underground parking lot with her trolley full of stuff, loaded everything into the boot of her car, dutifully parked the trolley in the appropriate bay, beeped the car open and slid into the passenger seat.

Hm.

After twiddling with her bracelet for about six seconds, BPC realized that there was a reason why she had done all of the above on her own.

Hmmm.

She meekly got out of the passenger seat, into the driving seat and drove back home with a bit of a blush.

DODO!!!!!

The Story That is Us: Starting Year Three

BPC & Arfiman are celebrating their second wedding anniversary today.



Two years ago, on this day, I was a schizophrenic bride: calmly having my hands and feet henna'd one minute and freaking out over my bridal suite the next. One moment, serenely contemplating the journey I was to embark upon, and the next ... barking orders at the photographer. My God, I was MAD. Hinamommy: your patience with me that day will NEVER be forgotten :)

The weeks leading up to the wedding was a crazy crazy time ... as any married woman can vouch. Amidst all the madness, I was so glad to have found a retreat all my own ... a place I used to go to when things got a bit too crazy for even Crazy BPC.

It was Arfiman and BPCs new flat.

I remember buying tiny things like tealights or hand towels and using that as an excuse (to myself and not to anyone else!) to spend a little time in casa mio ... mon chateau. There is something so exciting about making your first home and I loved the one Arfiman and I were making. MyGod, this warrants a whole new blog entry and this one is supposed to be an anniversary entry, so let's get back on track ...

My first instinct when writing this anniversary entry was to write all about how we met and yada yada yada (the same chocolate cake story that I am sure all my friends are sick of hearing by now ;) hehehe), but the more I think about it, the more I realise that No, my entry cannot possible be just about how we got together, for Our Getting Together is a only a bit of the story that is Us:

The Story That is Us

Starting Year Three

Whereas Chapters 1-4 are dedicated to First Meeting, First Date, Proposal (and Acceptance Thereof), etc etc ... it's Chapter 5 where it really becomes a page-turner: The Wedding. Having said that, even Chapter 5 pales in comparison to Chapter 6 and 7: Living with a Boy/Girl and First Big Fight.

HinaMommy (being my constant Agony Aunt) told me before I got married that I should expect to fight over silly things once we get married. Of course I didn't believe her then .. I wasn't gonna be one of those wives fusses over whose turn it is to take out the trash. I had another think coming.

As far as I can remember, our first big fight was about something stupid like me shouting over the phone at some incompetent water delivery people and Arfiman trying to get me to calm down, but ending up in the line of fire instead. Yes, BPC has an awful temper. You wouldn't be able to tell: she's got really cute little paws .. but they do hide extremely sharp retractable claws!

Chapters 8-10 outline Domestic Bliss, as BPC goes from being incorrigible slob to becoming an epxert at household chores and *gasp* strats enoying cooking and scrubbing the floors. Tsk tsk .. what marriage can do to perfectly decent human beings.

Somewhere down the line there was a Chapter on our First Anniversary and now, here's the Chapter on our Second. When I look at the Chapters in between those two, I realise that not an awful lot was different in our second year of marriage as compared to our first. I'm not complaining, and in no way saying that we got complacent and boring. We had our share of 'incidents', but overall, it was peaceful harmony and we didn't come to any radical realizations in our second year of marriage. (Arfiman? Correct me if I'm wrong).

And somehow, for a person who always always always looks for change and excitement in her life, BPC found the calm orderliness of marital life was a perfect fit.

And in this Story of Us, BPC realized that her favorite Chapters were Chapters she didn't even know could exist.

You know how, when you meet someone you really really like and you start getting closer and closer to them ... that closeness doesn't happen until certain things fall into place, does it? I mean, you don't end up getting together with a junkfood junkie if you're vegan. It just doesn't work that way. (Exceptions apply of course)

And so, when two people successfully (and responsibly) get together - all romanticism aside - it's largely due to the fact that their minds meld well. And so I began my journey as Mrs. Arfiman ... reassured in the knowledge that there were no testing surprises, and happy that I have been lucky enough to find a spouse that *Masha Allah* seems to have the same values, priorities, tastes etc etc.

In short, when I married Arfiman after being with him for over a year, I thought I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. Little did I realize that I'd get more than what I bargained for. *grin*

All my life, with my girlfriends - whenever our discussions had been about shaadi and life thereafter - there would be much deliberation on who he would be, how we would meet him, what he'd be like, what the wedding would be like, what would you wear, etc etc.

Makes me think whether teenaged girls ever think of marriage as anything more than meeting a really great guy and having a really big party.

Did we ever think that when you marry a guy, you don't just marry him, but you marry his whole family? Nope, I don't think we ever did.

I don't think I ever thought about it either. Not when I said yes to marrying Arfiman. Not even when I actually did marry him: never for a moment did it hit me that I will have a new mother and a new brother. It was a blessing that slowly grew on me.

My 'new' family turned out to be that Chapter of The Story of Us that became my favorite.

No matter how much you assert your independance and choose the person you want to marry, in the the end, you have no control over the rest of the family that comes as part of the package. We go on and on about the boy boy boy or the girl girl girl .. but how many times does one take a closer look at the family?

I have seen so many people walk blindly into a love marriage only to find out that they have married into a family that doesn't add any value to their life ... that dont enrich their life.

What kind of a bummer deal is that?

And now, when I think about the best part of these two years as Mrs. Arfiman, I think of Mummy (mum-in-law) and Max (brother-in-law). Having just come back from Croydon, it makes me think of Khala and Khaloo and Nani and the girls. The girls: I love being their 'bhabhi'. :)

And the best part is, this whole thing is not even a Chapter in The Story of Us.

It's the underlying theme of the whole Story. Its like the background music in your favorite movie ... you don't even notice that it's there, and yet it is. Take it out and you'll feel the pinch. Like the salt in your food.

It's what punctuates every Chapter of The Story of Us and as we start the Chapter on our Third Year of Marriage, it's what I give the most thanks for.

Thankyou Arfiman, for everything.

I love you :)

I know I tend to use a lot of words when something effects me, and I know that sometimes too many words is not the best way to get your point across. For that reason, I held back on writing about this whole plne-bomb-threat shit that just blew up in everyone's face.

I just couuldn't find the right words. Not in my head. I found them on Orkut. I am a memebr of a community called Muslims Against Terrorism. It is filled with hatred against Islam and Muslims. I can't really blame people for feeling the way they do.

I read a post there today on how this kind of situation can be avoided, that made a lot of sense to me:

PROFILE travelers!!!The best possible way: - make it inconvenient for Muslims but NOT ANYONE ELSE!!!They could actually have done something like this: any Muslim wishing to travel on a specific route would have to wait until there were enough other Muslims to fill a plane. Once there would be enough of them, they'd all be asked to come to the airport, have special security just for their plane.All passengers and crew on that plane would be Muslims, which means that if they blew it up, they would kill ONLY MUSLIMS, for which they'd go to hell, according to their believe system, so they'd not do it (one would hope).All non-Muslim passengers would be SAFE and could travel like always with minimal security.

And you know what? It makes perfect sense. I can't even argue with it. It's come to a point where I feel that these animals deserve to be locked up in a cage and separated from the rest of the world. Sadly, me and mine being Muslims will probably end up in that cage too.

Notes From A Summer Holiday (episode2)

There's something quite comforting about familiarity. Not that I don't like surprises ... people who know BPC, know that she likes nothing better than flying by the seat of her pants, but there is some part of her that absolutely enjoys the comfort of predictability too.

This holiday for instance. Tonight is the last night that I'm sitting here in holiday mode (ie. in my PJs all day and no nagging whatsoever about when to get up/sleep/eat etc etc). We don't actually fly back home till Sunday morning, but tomorrow night is definitely going to be a whirlwind of packing things I forgot to pack today. So sitting here in Khala's living room watching episode after episode of FRIENDS with T'bo is finally going to come to an end.

I started off talking about familiarity, didn't I? Well, part of me was really looking forward to this holiday even after the Italy bit of it was called off due to various reasons. Initially, I had thought 'what would we do for 18 days in London?what more is there to see/do?' but you know what they say about London (quote:Samuel Johnson) He who tires of London tires of life. LOL. Don't know how much truth there is in that, but I did look forward to coming back to Croydon and reacquainting myself with all that had become familiar to me during last year's trip.

Khala and khaloo, the girls, the house that feels so much like home, it's spooky! Khala's cooking that is such welcome 'ghar ka khana' after having been married for two years and taking care of my own kitchen!

And Vijay & Anu. My God, they are a crazy couple and I have threatened to blog about them and I will definitely put down an incriminating entry one of these days.

Then I knew that coming to Croydon would mean makign a trip to Portsmouth (Whidley, to be accurate) to spend a few days with L and D.

So it was the whole familiarity of where we would go and what we would do that was in some weird way very comforting to me and now when I think about it, equally discomforting because it makes me ask myself: am I becoming a complacent, boring, unimaginative person? One of those that go on the same holiday every year? Jesus, no. LOL. I hope not.

So D & L. It's so romantic. They left on their cruise today. They are on a two-week mediterrannean cruise ON WHICH THEY ARE TO GET MARRIED! Can you imagine that? Masha Allah, so lucky they are to have found such love and how romantic is D?!!! He proposed to her on the London Eye and now he is marrying her on a cruise! Wow, L ... you lucky gal, you. Masha Allah.

We spent a few days with D & L. It started with D driving down to Croydon to pick us up and then we all dorve into Central London. The boys dropped me off on Oxford street at the big Boots (which turned out to be a huge disappointment) and went on the Arfiman's comic book convention.

As Boots was a disappointment, I just walked all over Bond and Oxford and ended up marvelling at Soho, quite intimidated by some of what I saw to tell you the truth. I was a good child however and did not go into any shops selling 'qeustionable items for people above a certain age'.

I found the cutest boutiques in the back streets of Soho and then to boys found me and we had lunch. Then we went to meet an old school buddy of Arfiman and D's and while they had an excellent time catching up BPC had a very awkward chat with Wife of said School Buddy. hmm.

BPCs cold got progressively worse and she slept in the backseat all the way to Whidley. We stayed in Whidley two full days and L and D packed in a lot of fun activites for us in those two days.

We went to Jane Austen's house. No, we didn't have tea and biscuits with her :P but it did give me goosebumps to see the actual table that she used to write on. It was a tiny hexagonal thing and it was quite an awesome experience looking at it. We intended to have cream tea at a lovely tea-room opposite the house but D had warned us that his trips there have been jinxed and sure enough, the tearoom had had a fire and was closed.

We did have our cream tea in the gardens of a stately home and it was quite nice. Scones and tea and butter and little pots of jam. Very English :)

We also went to a 'typical Enlgish town': Arundel. We had lunch in a little tearoom that was soooooooo old. More on that later. We didn't visit hte Arundel castle becasue I didn't want to dole out the 12£ entry fee.

D&L took us to a pub one evening because they remembered i had wanted to go to a pub last time I was in Whidley. The pub turned out to be more of a restaurant, but a nice place nonetheless. It turned out ot be the most expensive meal that I never had in my whole life. Yes, NEVER had. I was feeling too sick to eat anyting but the chocolate mousse dessert. My whole entre order went to waste and you know how I feel about wasting food. :( Blah.

All in all, it was lovely staying with D&L. I still can't tell the twins apart, but I'm not losing any sleep over it :) At least I can tell which one I am talking to by looking at the girl standing next to him. LOL. I am being mean now.

All I can think of right now is that D&L must be somewhere in the middle of the sea now on their cruise and that in a few days they will get married. Wow!

And you know what ... in a few days, Arfiman and I will have been married two years. Masha Allah. :)

FaceOff

One of the reasons I love blogging is that it allows me to set so many panties on fire. LOL. Never ceases to amuse me.

My post below was at least partially meant to incite some indignance from some parties and YAY it did!

Maria said....jaao maira bacha jooton ki shopping karo. This sort of post just makes you look ridiculous. Heheheh.....Dubai....basic amenities available to everyone....HAHAHAHAH......ask the boys in blue jaanee, not your blow dried, french manicured self. Smooch. I love your cuteness. Now next post about the great miniskirt bargains please!

Sorry to disappoint you Maria ... my next post turned out to be about YOU didn't it. Heh. Which boys in blue are you talking about jaanee? Construction workers? Since when is the poorest of the poor of any community representative of what is good or bad about that community?

And just the fact that a middle-class girl like me can afford to be manicured and blow-dried should be enough to shut you up and make you realise that Dubai is probably one of the few places in the world where you can go with not a penny in your pocket and with half a brain can make a good life for yourself.

Stay tuned for the great miniskirt bargain post Maria :)

Burj-al-Karachi

I read this hilarious post on Karachi Metblogs today. You too can laugh at it on http://karachi.metblogs.com/archives/2006/08/burjalkarachi.phtml.

The gist of it is that (quote) Karachi is truly on its way to becoming the next dubai, what with all the construction going on everywhere. .... The city govt. has recently signed an MoU with reps of FOUR arab states (Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar and Oman) for construction of the country's first seven-star hotel (unquote)

ROFLMAO.

I mean, really.

Are there actually people out there who think that the only thing that makes Dubai a great place to live is the fact that it has a 7star hotel?

Do they think that Dubai's excellent lifestyle m ight even have something to do remotely with things like basic amentities being available to everyone all the time at reasonable cost, good roads, excellent safety and security etc etc and NOT its 7star hotel!

Let the people of Karachi have water and electricity round the clock, a good police force, education funding, guaranteed jobs when they graduate and THEN we can say Karachi is somewhat on the way to becoming like Dubai .....

Shoe Story

The only thing BPC likes more than shopping shopping shopping is going shopping and finding a REAL BARGAIN. (Not that I actually believe that bargains really are bargains ... after all ... when something is half the price, you just end up buying twice as many things and spend the same amount of money you normally would have. So technically, you're still as broke afterwards!)

So anyway, BPC found a REAL BARGAIN the other day. In Camden Market, she stumbled across an Aldo store (shoes, YUM!) that was not only a factory outlet (read: cheaper than regular retail outlets), but was on 50% sale ... wait wait ... it was on 50% sale ON TOP OF THE ALREADY 50% SALE!

OH MY GOD ... I was like a kid in a candy store. The only catch was that I have been trying (and not really succeeding!) to spend too much money on shoes/clothes (as we are going on a big shoe/clothes shopping trip to Hong Kong this October). So, it took all of my strength to not clear everything off the shelves and getting every shoe in the store that was my size. Believe me, at those prices, I so could have. And Aldo shoes .. mmm mmmm mmmmm!

But I was amazingly in-control of the purse-strings (which I haad Arfiman hold on to just incase I gave in to The Temptation) and I bought just one purse and one pair of shoes.

I got a shiny shiny golden purse, but forget about that. My REAL bargain was a pair of gorgeous toffee colored suede Mary Janes with stacked heels, with leathers inners and beautiful beadwork. I got them for 10£!!!! Who buys anything in Aldo for 10£!!!! 9.99£ to be precise.

Oh, and imagine my glee when I look at the price tag and see that the actual retail price was 119.99£.

So in a way, I "saved" 110£.

Doesn't that mean that I can actually, spend at least half that money on shoes again ... seeing as I saved .... erm ... really, right ... hmm ....