Happy Budday

For YOUR pleasure!

So I go down to the 24-7 for my regular morning croissant and through the corner of my eye, I see a bunch of giggling teenagers looking at something through the corners of their eyes. Hmm. Giggling teenagers is nothing new considering I work in College Village, but giggling ABASHEDLY? Hmmm.

I turned to see what was so bashfully amusing. I was confronted by Magenta packaging. I LOVE magenta and I LOVE packaging. Specially in foil. Yay.

I gravitated towards the little boxes piled on top of each other next to the cash counter and the crowd sliced to give me way. They stared in slack-jawed awe. Why? Read on ...

I picked up on of the palm sized foil wrapped sachets and ... GASP ... haram haram, haza haram!



A device designed to maximize sexual pleasure being sold on a student campus!!! (Incase you couldn't read the type, it says: Durex Play Vibrations: Stimulation ring for him and her).

Now, much as I wanted to actually pick up one of the suckers, there were numerous issues at hand:

1. I possessed only the two dirhams fifty fils that would buy me a croissant.
2. I feared that if my merely approaching the display caused such furor among the teens, it might cause some serious coronary complications if I actually BOUGHT one of the buggers.

And last but not the least ...

3. What the hell is a sexual-pleasure device doing here?

I mean, the reason they have no shisha outlet in this section of the GleeZone is that there are 6000 young college students here, and the Ministry of Health doesn't allow smoking to under 18s.

Does the magenta display mean that the relevant Ministry/Authority condones sex between consenting college students?

Surely, Islamically speaking, when it comes to smoking and sex, the former is the lesser evil.

Oh my ... just when I begin to think I have gotten my head around this place, it totally does my head in!

Happy Budday

Okay, so I've been sitting here staring at this screen for the last forty minutes, trying to think of something nice to write for Arfiman's birthday tribute post, but surprise surprise! Queen Of Words BPC is at a loss for words! Wah wah, kya baat hai, buhut aala ...

I cannot think of a single think to write that I don't want ot immediately erase for the lameness of it (and I will now press the sumit button before i weasel out of this too) and maan lo that it's hard to do this kind of thing under itna saara pressure. matlab keh kya?

How the bloody hell do you pay tribute in a few lines to the person who your world revolves around? Someone who makes your heart skip a beat everytime you see them?

He Of The Mint Tea & Shisha, of MidNight Hugs and Driving With the Top Down.

He wanted he orange shoes from SPF that sold out by the time I got there to get them for him. What do i give him now? Anything you want baby, just ask ...

So, you're a year away from 30 today? :) LOL ... there are times when I swear you act a third of that.

Arfiman, don't ever lose your boyish charm. Don't ever stop spending horrific (according to some people) amounts on comics because 'they're just books' . You know I'll always spalsh water on them (don't keep them in the bathroom then!).

Don't ever stop that lip-chewing thing you do when you play PS2 for four hours non stop.

Don't ever become an Uncle-Husbaaaand.

I love you.

Happy Birthday My Love :)

Avocados and 50 gms butter

"Do you like avocados?"

"Do we have 50 grams of butter at home?"

"What does tarragon look like?"

"What's vinaigrette dressing?"

I've been tackling these very pressing queries of the late. Arfiman - seeing as he has already bought me everything I want that money can buy, God Bless the darling creature - had taken it upon himself to cook me a three-course Valentine's dinner.

Till now, I know that it will contain lots of avocados, 50 gms butter, tarragon, vinaigrette dressing, two cloves pressed garlic, some salt and pepper and that - thankfully - it is a THREE course meal, so all of the above ingredients will not go into the same dish.

*whew*

But can you beleive that? Arfiman cooking a THREE COURSE MEAL? Heck, I've never done that.

And that's the equivalent of me ... umm ... well, can't really think of anything analogical, but let's just say that's like me playing on the PS2 for three hours straight .... doesn't happen everyday!

:)

Random conversation snippet:

Abbas: dude that chick in your pic is hot. who is it?

BPC: it's your sister's 8th grade best friend (ie. ME!!)

Abbas: damn it. i shouldnt have water bombed her then!

BPC: wet paper towels it was dear boy. and yes, you shouldn't have

Abbas: oh well whats happenned has happened. must forget the past. when we meet again, you'll notice how i've perfected my methods and have switched to tarpine coated rocks. theyre more effective with girls!

You gotta love them big brothers of best friends! :)

Why? Why?!! Why?!!!!!

In the comments section of my 'Down with the Danes' post, jimbob said...

"... no-one has given an adequate explaination of why that means that the Danish Government should apologise, or why Danish people and companies should be attacked ... the Danish newspaper has complete autonomy and should answer for its own actions. Go and protest outside its doors if you want, but don't bring everyone else into this ... What many Muslims are doing by broadly targeting Danes (as you do in your article) and even westerners as a whole, instead of just the newspaper, is to make the same mistake a few westerners made following the various al-Qaeda sponsored attacks. It was wrong to blame the entire Muslim faith for the actions of an extremist minority and threatened to escalate the matter into a war of words or worse ..."

You said it Jimbo!

Why is it so unfair that the entire nation of Danes should suffer the consequences of what a handful of Danes did, when it is totally acceptable that a WHOLE GLOBEFUL of muslims, make it a WHOLE RELIGION, be maligned because of a handful like Al Qaeda?

Why doesn't that Bloody Bastard (Bush) take it up with Al Qaeda instead of waging a War Against Terror? Why? Why? Why?

Furthermore ... why is it okay for people to die for the stupidest of reasons to this day (least of all, all the Palestinians killed by bloody Israel) and people don't give a shit: the same people who mourn the holocaust to this date and prosecute those who denythe holocaust or voice implication thereof? Why?!!! Why?!!!!! It was just ONE BLOODY INCIDENT AMONG THOUSANDS!!!! What merits it to be glorified as such? You want numbers? Go here: http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm

Why glorify the holocaust? Why associate religious extremism only to Islam? Why should the US be the self proclaimed keeper of pease while it's the onle that wages the most wars? Why? Why?!! Why?!!!!!

There ARE no answers to these questions.

The early bird gets the worm and The Big Guy gets all the concessions.

In the end, 'history' is not what happened a long time ago ... it is merely the stroy as told by The Big Guy.

Umm Al Qawaining

This weekend we went on the sissiest camping trip EVER! If Naz found out, she would DISOWN me.

Well, my rugged bones were craving sand in the hair and half-cooked chicken breast so even though this wasn’t the REAL thing, it will do for now.

It was TOTB weekend (don’t even ask: Ten of The Best – boy stuff ... all car racing and things) and we all decided to make a day of it.

The races were on Friday, with trial runs on the AutoX track on Thursday afternoon, so we decided to get there Thursday afternoon and camp out overnight for the races the next day.

So there we were, parked along the side of the road: a shiny row of shiny sports cars when it hit me: ohmigod, I’m an S2000 wife. LOL. In my shiny sunglasses, with my cropped pants – wondering why I got a new French manicure just last evening: I would DEFINITELY chip it on this trip (which, FYI, I did not).



Boys will be boys, so the owners of the two shiny red cars couldn’t sand wondering which red car was faster, so they HAD to race. I am sure it was so, so illegal what they did, but hell, they just drove REALLY FAST in a straight line. :)

And the Lumina won! Yay!!!

By the time EVERYONE got together we were already about four hours behind schedule so we decided we should drive really fast. Didn’t anybody tell these boys that not matter how fast you drive, you still can’t turn back time? These guys sure as hell tried. Man!! I think we got to UAQ in ten minutes!



Oh ho … now we were there so long that I don’t feel like putting the whole story down. To postulate:

1. It was a sissy camp because we had dinner cooked not by us over a bonfire, but by the TOTB caterers over proper grills. There was talk of sneaking some back to our camp, but thankfully that didn’t happen.

2. No matter how sissy the camp was, Y. made a HELLUVA bonfire. (which meant I could finally stop piling on the layers)

3. I had forgotten how it feels to pee-pee in the desert.

4. Even if I had remembered, this would be a first where I couldn’t see a foot infront of me for all the fog. I mean, at one point, there was so much fog that all we could see around our camp was our shadows from the bonfire ON THE FOG.

5.Thankgod for the fog … in the morning, I noticed that we were camped like two feet away from the fencing of the AutoX area. How outdoorsy! NOT!!!!! At least the fog kept the illusion of seclusion alive.

6. At one point, it was called to our attention by one of the organizers that one of our tents was happily rolling across the desert and sure enough, it was. It was FREE!

7. When they say ‘four people tent’, they mean ‘four kate moss sized people tent’. Thankfully, there were just three in ours.

8. Bonfire makes goooooooooood shisha coal.

9. BPC can sleep anywhere and through ANYTHING (LOL, you HAD to be there ...)

And I’m not gonna write anything about the races, seeing as that’s probably the only way to get Arfiman to update his blog.

Anyway, I got home knackered, with an only slightly chipped manicure and a pedicure perfectly intact (hurray for socks!).

Umm Al Quwaining

Umm Al Quwaining II