Crisis-Filled Day

BPC has a crisis-filled day at work:

1. Deadline for reworking 45-page MAJOR report was yesterday. Boss Lady agreed to move it to today 2 pm in light of the report being too shabbily written by original writers. It is now 3:40. Status of report? Waaaaaay from being done. BPC is not leaving the office anytime today.

2. Close relative of BigBigBig Boss passes away and BPC must write official condolence letter. We all know she is total crap at stuff like this.

3. Boss Lady is put in compromising situation due to BPC's lack of leadership skills. :(

4. BPC takes tough call on people who expect you to review and approvean 8-page document in seven minutes .... something you wouldn't be able to do even if you had NO work, let alone the mountains that you have in the Real World. Due to which:

5. BPC is forced to write a stinker to several people reminding them of company policies and that "working in a structured manner ensures that all parties are able to perform within designated deadlines, up to the desired quality level and with the least possible undue stress". (On which Boss Lady congratulates BPC. Yay!)

6. Media crisis! Sneaky reporter gets hold of Crazy headquarters' Sales Manager at networking event and twists casual chat into an unflattering 'scoop'. Bloody reporeters.

7. BPC hasn't had a single minute to google or souq since the start of the workday and only now at 3:47 is she taking out a few minutes to blog and bitch and have a bite of Kushary courtesy one of the local gals at Crazy Headquarters.

8. BPC totally overlooked a notice informing People of water outage and now People might be standing in the loos washing their hands with air. Not if BPC acts NOW!

*whew*

And that is just the kind of day BPC loves. The kind where you come in the office and the day is like a whirlwind and before you know it, it's 4:30 and you wonder where the day hasgone. better yet, BPC loves it when it's a whirlwind of a week and it seems it was the weekend just yesterday AND TODAY'S A WEEKEND AGAIN!

YAAAAAAY!!!!

Fatwa to Fuck with your Head

Taken from http://islam.tc/ask-imam/:

Q.I belong to a fairly moderate income group. Recently my eldest daughter attained the age of puberty. This development has placed me in agreat predicament. I was quite affected recently by a lecture I heard on the sins of intermingling of sexes. My daughter attends a public school whereshe is obviously involved in this. While it might appear to be easy to justremove her from school, I have to also consider her future. She definitelyrequires a career in order to make her financially self-sufficient in thesetimes of great economic strife. What should I do under these circumstances?

A.Almighty Allah Taála says in the Holy Qurãn 'And (women) stay in your homes and don't display yourselves like the practice of the first Jaahiliyya (pre-Islamic era)'. (Qurãn 33:33)
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'A woman is an object of concealment. When she comes out; the Shaitaan accompanies her'. (Mishkãt)

The above quotations clearly indicate that the place of a woman is at home.When she emerges out of the house, she becomes the tool of the Shaitaan to spread mischief and corruption. In these modern times, there is a worldwide campaign on recognition of women's rights, according to the democratic ideology which includes equality between men and women in earning, rank and position. Such a position for women in society breathes corruption andmischief. And the ghastly consequences such a position has already caused are clear as day-light for all those of true intelligence.

The harms of giving your daughter 'secular education' under the existing conditions is greater than the benefits. It is not permissible to risk the honour of your daughter at the expense of securing her economic future.Looking at the dangers and harms in schools, even the greatest worldly need cannot justify the reason for sending your daughter to school.

The sustenance of every individual is the responsibility of Allãh: 'There is not a single creature on earth except that Allãh Taála has taken the responsibility of its sustenance'. (Qurãn 11:6)

*ends*

OHHH MYYYYY GAAAWWWWWWDDDD!!!!!!!! (...excuse me... I just spat out blood and bile and I must go clean it up....)

Okay, I'm back.

OHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWD! (....excuse me again...)

This just helped me burn quite a good amount of my blood. Its helpful after eating a whole lot of fried chicken and fries you see. Keep these fatwas coming and I shall never have to exercise again.

Where the fuck do fucktards like this find the authority to lead other fucktards into the Dark Ages?

I think I just died from an intense state of rage.

(credit: 'Fun with Weird Fatwas' community on Orkut)

Karaoke Nights

Lagey raho!

Every single time I think that I have had my last laugh at what's happening in That Country Of Which I Hold A Passport, I have another think coming.

I was pretty sure that the ridiculous multi-million dollar fountain would be the last monstrosity of that city for years to come, but I have just found out about an even more preposterous and ill-conceived notion that the Karachi bigwigs seem to be entertaining:

The world's tallest building.

Really.

In Karachi.

In city where they don't have the resources to fight a fire in the 16-storey building of the Pakistan National Shipping Corporationbuilding, they plan to build a 1947 ft. tower.

Wow.

Maan gaey bhai. Bada dil hai in karachi ki bagdor sambhalney walon ka!

Carpaccio and a cruise

That's one of the things I love about living in Dubai: at five o'clock, you can be dead tired ... having spent ten hours on your feet in a trade show at the Dubai International Convention Centre.

Half an hour later, you can be sailing on the top deck of El Mundo with your Favorite Boy ... glass of fruit cocktail in hand, watching the sun set over the horizon and being rocked to and fro with the gentle lull of the waves.

And on the trip back, be alone on the open air top deck with the shiny stars twinkling in the pitch balck sky.


Thankyou Arfiman ... there is nothing quite like a few hours at sea to make a girl feel like a star!

Sh3r, Spud and So Not Pregnant!

#1: Why is it that you never realize a Good Hair Phase while you are actually in it?

I accidentally stumbled across some old pictures today, taken probably around November last year. Man, that hair! The cut, the color. Ibrahim, you are God's gift to me.

It feels funny to have you own personal Hair Hotline. BPC speed dial 2. "Ibrahim, my hair is doing something funny". "Don't worry habibti, come tomorrow. I will take a look. Yalla!". He is totally yummy. LOL.

Anyway. A Good Hair Phase. The wonder that is Ibrahim did a wonderful cut and color and my hair looked SO good. Now - just four months later - it's crap. I hate it. The color is tat. Totally my own doing. First I got colored red sections TWICE IN A ROW. The only saving grace was that Ibrahim did them. Then - and this I should not have done - I cheated on Ibrahim and tried a new stylist. One color disaster later, my hair is dry as hay and the color is - well - also like hay.

The funny thing is, I have never EVER felt shamefaced infront of a stylist till Ibrahim set eyes upon my do-saster (LOL . do-saster!!)

"3njaad habibti .. shoo y3n5? Int5 you don't like doing me doing your hair? Shooft5 sh3r'k!!"

*sob*

And don't even ask how many pieces my heart broke into when he tsktsked away halfway through the appointment and put down the barrel brush.He swirled the chair around and looked me straight in the eye.

"I used to enjoy doing you hair," he said in a grave grave tone. "Not anymore."

Ground split open. BPC IN!

*soooooob*

God bless the good soul, my hair looks presentable after a few rescue attempts, but that old picture from last year brought back memories of hair that didn't split when you brushed it and definitely didn't go all golden when washed but not blow dried.

"Soon habibt5 ... bas shahreyn, w' it'll look okay."

I feel you man, I feel you.

#2: What kind of a life is it where you can't exactly remember the last time you had French Fries?

Really. And you only vaguely remember what they taste like.

I remember when it was I last had some: at Johnny Rockets (who,by the way, do the best burger nad vanilla shake in Dubai and the next time you're on Beach Road, DO NOT go to the tatty McD's, but go to the JR's right across!). I think that was at least a month ago and that is WAY too long for any self-respecting, coke-guzzling 20-something to have gone without the oil-rich golden goodness of Slim Sticks of Spud.

#3: You don't have to be pregnant to redecorate!

Uh-huh. It IS possible to be NOT pregnant and still want a new living room.

All you need is to be bored of your old living room and near an Ikea. (I don't know how I ever lived without it!)

So yeah, after three different people hearing of the redecorating and inquiring if I was 'nesting', all and sundry ... no bun in the oven!

Despite Luni at Crazy Headquarters' proclamation that "You got a bonus, now you MUST have a baby!" (to which I told her that Honey, you don't need the greenbacks to make a greenback-guzzler!) and despite the mighty temptations of a very generous maternity package and a newly acquired children's education allowance post salary-review ... I don't think Arfiman and I are quite ready yet to have little Ali Khans wailing into the early hours.

:)

Yankees .. go home!!!!

In response to the highly amusing letter in 7Days by Sharjah resident Mansoor Riaz (I nearly fell of my chair laughing, Mr. Riaz) and his threat to ‘sue’ Dubai residents (LOL) for congesting Sharjah …

Do you live and work in Sharjah? If you do, then my apologies to you. But if you don’t, then the only difference between you and the ‘Dubai residents shifting to Sharjah’ is that they are doing now what you did a few years ago.

Just like you have your complaint of ‘our rents are high because of Dubai people living in our Emirates’, we have ours which goes ‘our roads are clogged because of Sharjah dwellers working in our Emirates’.

To Mr. Mansoor Riaz, and to everyone else who lives in Sharjah but works in Dubai … face the facts … the only reason you live in Sharjah and work in Dubai is so you can earn Dubai salaries and pay Sharjah rents. The only reason you live in Sharjah is to save money.

The reason WE live in Dubai is to NOT be caught in two hour traffic jams (which, Sharjah residents seem to be bringing further into Dubai these days) and we pay a very high price for that. We pay TWICE the rent you guys pay. Why? It’s a price we pay for the convenience. That convenience, sadly, is severely marred by Sharjah cars in the hundreds that come into our Emirate twice a day, five days a week.

YOU choose to live in Sharjah because you want to save money. To save money, you need to make some sacrifices. Heard the ‘cake’ adage? The Dubai-Sharjah commute is a price you pay for the low rents. Soon hopefully (and thank goodness RTA for this!) the tolls will be another way that the abuse of OUR roads by people from other Emirates will be discouraged.

And what really are you complaining about? A two-bed flat in Sharjah costs around 50,000 ... the same in Dubai costs at least 90,000.

Surely, out of the 40,000 you save, you can fork over a few thousand in toll fees? Or are you just that greedy?

While we’re at it, I have a request to RTA … do please increase the toll to at least 10 Dhs each way so that it makes a more significant difference.