I'm the Boss of Me

So, what better way to come back from a brilliant two-week holiday in England than to find yourself out of one - no, wait - TWO jobs?!

I'd always thought I was a bit psychic (though my family will reassure you that 'psycho' was more like it) and I swear honest to goodness I woke up with this foreboding feeling one fine morning in Croydon and I KNEW that if I checked my email, I would have bad news from the bottomless-pocketed building materials supplier that I do freelance PR for.

Sure enough, a cup of tea and two toasts later I was as stunned at my 'special powers' as I was at the prospect of having lost a major chunk of income. They wanted to halt PR till we decided on a new - and better - direction. HaRRumph.

As if that wasn't enough, boarding the plane to head back to Dubai, I kept nagging Arfiman with my conviction a firm 'boot' awaited me at my day job.

Sure enough, I returned to find that my salary for September hadn't been transferred into my account. The month passed with no deposits into my account. October came and went. And so did November nad my kind employer assured me that I would get paid. When? He had no clue.

Loyel as I wanted to remain to him (he had been a nice boss, despite everyting) but try as I may, I could find no ustification to work for free for the fourth month in a row and so I picked up the 'appointments' pages.

Have you heard all those stories about job ads in papers and how they’re a farce and done just to go through the motions when actually the hiring officials only ever hire friends and friend of friends?

Well, they’re not true. My current job (the one I was in limbo with) came from the paper (very interesting story which I will get to in a bit) and so did another one before.

Current job was spotted in the paper entirely by coincidence – and with the help of my ‘special powers’.

You know how coal needs to be in really tiny pieces for it to be burned for shisha-usage on a regular ghar ka coolha? Well, it’s really inconvenient because our coal comes in huge chunks that have to be broken down into small bits. The breaking down is a messy process with soot and coal shards everywhere. Yes, I do have a point here and yes, it is related directly to the story I have been telling …

So in order to not get the soot all over my nice marble counter tops, Arfiman uses a newspaper to envelope the coal before he smashes it to smithereens. It was while throwing out one such newspaper that I spotted the tiny, tiny ad for current (in limbo) job. All covered with soot and battered by the hammer, this sorry piece of paper helped us sort out our finances for quite a long time.

But now was time to say goodbye, so I picked up the paper yet again as I had coffee with my Nice Boss who told me he’s not obliged to pay me anymore but it would be nice if I can keep working for him.

“Don’t do that in front of me!” he exclaimed as he saw me scour job ads right infront of him. “At least wait for me to leave!!”

Tough luck chico, this chica is not going to work for free anymore. (Matter of the truth is that chica worked for free for about four more weeks after this conversation took place).

So, being in my new ‘I can take on the world’ frame of mind, I sent out my CV in response to … um … one job ad.

You know how they say you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket? Well, I was sick of being fucked with and I said ‘Screw it! I am applying for JUST ONE JOB and let’s see who the fuck can stop me from getting it’.

I might have known better as the job offered to pay almost 50% more than my current salary AND it clearly said ‘UAE Nationals Preferred’. Which – in employment terms – means, UAE Nationals Only!

But – as I said before – I was tired of being fucked with. I was going to use my special powers’ and I DID. So I went out there tough as nails and got the job as sure as rain.

Ya-haan, I did.

So I am yet again gainfully employed (though the process was a bit lengthy and tedious despite my ‘special powers’).

But the good news is, Alhamdolillah, I've finally landed a job that I'm worth. I get my own Parking Space, for Christ's sake!!! How much better can it get?

So thankyou Allah Mian, for stannding by my side and the moral of the story is:

1. Don't let anyone tell you not to put all your eggs in one basket.
2. People really do get hired as a result of jobs advertised in papers. It's not a farce.
3. When life starts fucking with you, you grab it by the balls and show it who's Boss.

and I'm the Boss of Me :)